Things You’re Probably Not Going to Do With Your Second

having a second child

Expecting a second baby? Here’s just some of what you can expect NOT to do when you’re a mom of two:

Zip in and out of the store. Going to the store with one infant in an infant car seat is a snap. In fact, it’s so easy that it’s tempting to think you’ve got this parenting thing down. But wait – don’t go patting yourself on the back until you’ve done a big grocery shopping trip with an infant who refuses to sit quietly in the car seat and a toddler who is hell bent on ending up in the lost and found.

Think he’s a special snowflake. Of course your children are special but once you’ve had two you’ve been around enough of them to realize that precociousness or early clarinet skills or 99th percentile growth isn’t all that exceptional. There are lots of early walkers, readers, singers, etc. out there and almost every kid is extra bright in his or her own area of expertise.

Make more mom friends. If we’ve said it once, it’s been a thousand times. Making mom friends is HARD. And now that you have a second baby you’re not only trying to figure out the older one’s schedule but also how to fit in feeds and naps and pediatrician appointments, too. Hopefully by now you’ve made mom friends and you have a strong network of support and help to get you through the early years!

Get out of the house on a regular basis. At least at first! Finding stuff to do for moms and kids may be less of a priority than simply staying sane. Planning playdates? Forget it. A lot of people can’t figure out what it is that moms do all day. The answer is… survive!

Take them out on the town. Remember bringing your baby everywhere and it felt just perfect? From mommy & me movies to candlelit dinners at your favorite restaurant, going on dates with your partner felt so easy. Now you’re going to need a sitter for your first, at the very least. And while it doesn’t always work this way, if your first was easy-peasy don’t be surprised to find eating out with your second means more whine than dine.

Stay on top of anything. With your first, you had a perfect scrapbook encompassing every milestone. You wrote up every pediatrician appointment and took “look at me grow” photos as every month went by. Your second’s baby book, by comparison will be lightweight and you can forget the monthly photos. Your older child just broke your camera and your newest cries whenever you put her down.

All the stuff that was SO important when you had your first. Maybe you’ll still cloth diaper, feed organic homemade babyfood, and never, ever let a pacifier into your house. But chances are you’re going to do some things very differently just to make sure that everyone in your household – i.e., everyone who is not the baby – has the best possible new baby experience. Maybe that means bedtime just got a lot more flexible. Or disposable diapers. Whatever. It’s cool. I’m not going to judge!

You have enough going on as it is!

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