It can get pretty complicated to plan a regular moms’ night out. Everyone’s operating on different schedules. Budgets are different. Bedtime for one family might be dinner time for another. Some moms have meetings. Other moms are just plain too tired to make the effort.
That’s why a friend of mine invented Worry-Free Wine Wednesdays.
The rules are simple: The hostess provides the wine and usually something non-alcoholic just in case someone is pregnant or a non-drinker. That’s the only non-negotiable. Guests bring a dish or dessert to share… or not. Some moms definitely go all out with stuffed baked brie cheeses or five layer cakes or other time-consuming things, but there’s always plenty of simple things like cheese and crackers or hummus. Moms in a rush might just grab a few pints of ice cream. And super stressed out moms sometimes show up empty handed, and that’s okay, too.
That’s the whole point. There are no worries. Show up late? No problem. Need to vent about your problems? No problem. Unshowered? No problem. Sometimes a new mom will need to bring a baby along. No problem. Sometimes the hostess will need to change the date. Again, no problem.
Heck, Worry-Free Wine Wednesdays aren’t even always on Wednesdays!
Because the beauty of Worry-Free Wine Wednesdays isn’t in the regularity – we used to meet monthly but now that our little ones are older there are months-long gaps. It’s not about the snacks, though those are nice, too. As is the wine, which is sometimes actually sangria or margaritas or some alternate grownup beverage. It’s not about the chance to dress up (which some moms do) or the chance not to dress up at all for once.
Worry-Free Wine Wednesdays are about mom support. We laugh and sometimes we cry and occasionally we do complain about our co-parents and our kids who are all the same age and go through the same periods of totally gnarly behavior. I remember talking about how to transition a baby from your arms to a crib at one of the first wine nights. At the most recent one, we talked about the way they’re all trying new ways to hurt our feelings when they’re angry and how close kindergarten seems.
I can’t recommend these evenings highly enough. Really, I can’t. What mom couldn’t use some words of encouragement from moms going through the same things – and a glass or three of wine? Maybe your wine night’s rules will be different. Maybe you’ll plan a monthly Worry-Free Margarita Shooters Monday. Maybe the hostess will be the one to provide the food. Whatever.
If you have to meet moms first before you can start up a wine night, do it. If you have to rally your troops and you can’t start meeting for a few months, that’s okay, too. The important thing is that you’re getting together and opening up and making motherhood a little less isolating for everyone in your circle. And that the only worries you bring to the evening are the ones that your mom tribe can help you through.