Meeting moms is a lot like dating. Too much, in fact. First you have to drum up the nerve to talk to that hip mama at the playground or playgroup, then you have to deal with the very real possibility of rejection. And boy, does it sting. I think that when a mom starts out trying to meet moms, her assumption is that meeting moms will be easy. After all, moms already have so much in common! So when the inevitable happens, and that interesting new mom makes it clear her schedule is too full for any more coffee dates, it hurts. Plus it brings up a lot of questions:
- Why didn’t she like me?
- Did I say something offensive?
- Was it my kids?
- Is she just a snob?
- Should I try again?
- What’s wrong with me that I can’t make new friends?
While I can’t even begin to guess why that mom didn’t think you were the bee’s knees or whether you put your foot in your mouth one too many times, I think I can answer your last question. Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. Some moms just plain aren’t in the market for new friends. Some moms are actually kind of snobby. Some moms are too overwhelmed to handle a simple coffee date. Other moms who seem totally confident are actually a little afraid of meeting moms. No kidding. Rejection happens for a whole bunch of different reasons.
And honestly, is rejection really that terrible? Meeting moms is stressful, yes. Realizing that someone who seems interesting and fun to you doesn’t want to pursue a friendship can be disheartening. But at the end of the day, you’re still you and you’re still pretty great (if I do say so myself). Remember how I said that meeting moms is a lot like dating? Rejection is just a natural part of meeting new friends and doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your family. Not everyone is looking for a new friend, after all!
The best way to deal with mommy rejection is just to keep looking for the good friends you haven’t met yet. You’ll find each other eventually – I promise.