That mom over there is so busy with her kiddo, she doesn’t even see you!
The truth: She knows you’re there. She’s just too damn awkward to engage in conversation, so she acts super busy. Or she’s pretending to text. Making new mom friends is like making friends for the first time, or worse, trying to snag a date at a bar. It’s super weird and only works if someone grows the oves to make the first move.
2. “You Can’t Sit With Us”
Oh hey, check it out, there are two super awesome moms. I wonder if they will want to hang out with you. There, one of them just looked and smiled – look back stupid, and smile. Awww, too bad, she looked away again. She’s just not that into you.
The truth: Even in groups, most moms have trouble putting themselves out there. The reality is they more than likely want you to hang but they just don’t know how to approach you.
3. She’s a way better mom than you.
She smiles more than you. She plays with her kids. She is never on her phone. She knows exactly what her child needs. She bakes. She freaking bakes!!!
The Truth: The grass always seems greener and it almost never is. There is always something going on with everyone, so cut yourself some slack and take a good look in the mirror. You rock, mama!
4. She is very in-tune with the forecast.
She seems to know everything about the weather today and exactly what it will be like this weekend.
The truth: That’s what we call small talk. If you haven’t picked up on that, hop into an elevator some time and see what the the people who actually do open their mouths comment on first. Can you say “How about this snow?”
5. She totally showered today.
She smells amazing and her hair makes Heather Locklear look like a damn troll. Jelly!
The Truth: No, she didn’t. It’s amazing what a little Marc Jacobs perfume and dry shampoo can achieve.
6. Everyone looks so happy to be at the park.
There are literally 17 Mary Poppins running around with umbrellas in hand and toothy smiles. What is going on?
The Truth: Could be, but more likely… those smiles are plastered on. One quarter of those moms are too awkward to look up. A tenth of them are trying to figure out how they are possibly going to pull off having their kids at two places at once in the same hour. One of them just fired the nanny. One of them is filing for divorce. Two of them are still sleeping. And the rest would rather be shopping.
7. “Maybe I’ll see you Around”
Said the New York City Mom to the other New York City Mom. And then they set off into the population of 8.4 million and hoped for the best.
The Truth: It could happen, but grow some tatas and ask for her number just in case.